How to Last Longer In Bed?

last longer in bedIn our society, lasting long in bed is something that is definitely praised by many people. It can be hard for some, especially if they suffer from erectile dysfunction. One way for a guy to feel not so confident is to realize this sexual shortcoming. It could be a psychological problem, but there are other ways to last longer in bed that can help you.

Now, you might’ve been told various extending techniques could help, such as thinking about a game, counting backwards, or whatever, but it actually can cause a lot of problems, since the man isn’t paying attention to the pleasure of their partner. That’s where this article comes in. In this article, you’ll learn about some real, proven means to help extend your time in bed, allowing you to last longer.

A Bit About ED and PE

Now, you might’ve heard about both of these terms. Premature ejaculation and erectile dysfunction are a lot more common than you would think, but they are often confidence shatters that you need to address within yourself. Now, you might not have known this, but it can affect most men during their lifetime in some way, shape or form. About 10% of men have a problem with this, and often, it is a situation that can be quite troublesome throughout life.

Typically, the average time for ejaculation is about 5.5 minutes, but if it takes about 2 minutes to ejaculate, this could be a sign of ED and PE.
Now premature ejaculation is typically something that happens at two points of your life. When a man starts to first become sexually active, they might end up ejaculating too early. But, if it’s not treated and actually dealt with, I can happen for a long time.

The secondary PE is something that happens later on, typically caused by psychological and physical issues, such as stress, depression, anxiety, and a prostate issue, which in turn causes this to happen. PE however is something that is only bothersome if it’s affecting your sex life negatively. If you and your partner are happy with your sex life and fulfilled, then you shouldn’t have to worry.

Now ED is when you can’t keep an erection or even have one, and it also includes if you have an erection that’s lost when you’re having sex. Now, this is much more common than you think. Over 50% of men around the ages of 40-70 experience it at some time of their life. This can ultimately be caused by underlying health issues, including high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol, heart disease, and even the decrease in testosterone.

Both of these problems can be hard on a man, especially since it can cause them anxiety. When you’ve got anxiety about how long you can go, it’s typically called performance anxiety. This is something that can develop into both of these issues, and if you do believe that you’re suffering from this, you should seek a professional.

Another very important thing to remember is that duration isn’t the most important part of this. There are a few things that you can do to help treat this and last longer in bed. If you feel like you’re ejaculating too early, then keep reading on and learn about how you can change this.


Biofeedback is essentially learning to regulate how your body responds to physical sensation. Now, this is something that you will have to work on yourself, but it can definitely not only keep you going longer, but it can also give you a better orgasm as well. In terms of sex, it’s as simple as bringing yourself right to the very apex of orgasm. Just get right there. Then, stop what you’re doing, and then have it under control.

Now, this can be something that is a bit harder to do if it is having sex with a partner, but if you’re masturbating, try doing that, then get to the edge, then stop, and then have the excitement under control. This in turn will train your body to control the response that you’re putting forward.
It’s important that when you do this with yourself, you use lube. This causes a lot of chafing, and it can be quite uncomfortable for yourself if you don’t keep this under control.

Kama Sutra and Foreplay

These two elements are actually really important if you want to last longer, and also give your partner sexual satisfaction as well. We’ll go over both, and we’ll discuss the best means to do this, and how you can naturally control, and satisfy your partner.

Now, the Kama Sutra is a set of sexual positions that can be used to give you a fulfilling, better sex life. This is something that is recommended in general if you want to really increase the satisfaction between both yourself and your partner. However, the one area we’ll be touching is the section on delaying ejaculations.

The Kama Sutra does have a method in order to train yourself to delay ejaculations so that you can last longer. You will need to start by going slowly, in and out every three or so seconds. You should aim to take this very slow, and do this a few times. Then, start to add more strokes in a slow manner for about 4-5 minutes, until you’re doing about one stroke a second. Now, if you feel like you’re going to ejaculate, hold yourself until you feel in control, and then do that again. This kind of piggybacks onto the biofeedback, but it shows you how to do this while you’re having sex with your partner. This is a very important and helpful point, and it certainly can help you last a whole lot longer in bed.

One part of this that women and men tend to kind of ignore is the element of foreplay. Foreplay is so important, not just to help with lasting longer in bed, but it actually can help a woman as well achieve orgasm. Some of the best orgasms come from something other than the penis, and if you’re looking to get your partner off, this can certainly help.

You should try to engage in foreplay first, since it will get you going, but then the leaving of that stimulation will then allow you to calm down so that you can then enjoy penetration and you can control your ejaculation as well with this.

Now, in essence, one of the best things to do, is to get the woman off first. Get your partner off first, and help her finish first. You probably have heard in passing from articles and such that women rarely have orgasms and that sort of thing. Well, that’s a super simple fix. Get her off, using either your mouth, fingers, or even a toy. You can give a woman some amazing orgasm with those alone, and once she’s had an orgasm, you can then continue. A woman can have a lot of orgasms in bed. It isn’t just one and done, it actually can happen a whole lot.

Once you’re done with that, then try to have penetrative sex. This can actually reduce any pressure that you’re feeling, since you might be super anxious about getting her off and making sure that she gets the stimulation that she needs. It’s super easy to do this, and if you take care of your partner, it can create better sex, and it definitely can help with your ability to last longer in bed as well. Plus, your partner will love it.

Speed and Thoughts

Two other areas that should be tackled are the speed of your motions, and also the inner voice that you have.
The first and most important thing to touch on is that voice in your head. Simply put, you need to shift your focus on what you’re mentally thinking about. If you’re going into this with anxiety about ejaculation, and you feel like you’re not going to perform well, this will totally ruin your erection. This is like the ultimate boner killer, and it definitely is something you need to tackle. But, fortunately for you this is super simple to fix.

You’re probably almost obsessing with worry about what you’re doing, and that can be a bit hard to stop. But, instead of just telling your inner voice to stop it, start to talk to yourself in a more confident tone of voice. Be confident in yourself instead of trying to debilitate yourself all the time. Thinking that you can’t do it, that you’re terrible, that your erection will go away, that you’re not confident will kill your erection. If you begin to feel anxiety, stop for a minute, focus your breathing, and instead feel the feelings that your body is feeling. Get out of your head, and you’ll start to realize that this will change things.

With speed, take your time. This isn’t a sprint. Don’t treat every single sexual encounter as a quickie, but instead try to take your time. Don’t jack-hammer into the woman, because chances are she probably won’t really like it all the time. Going slow creates a super intimate atmosphere, which leads to a deeper connection for everyone involved. If you really want to increase your sensuality with your woman, start to do this. start to caress and explore, touching her in her various erogenous areas with your hands and lips. Explore your partner’s body. Take your time. Remember, sometimes some of the best sex is the kind where you’re not trying to make it some sort of race, but instead a deep, intimate affair that can make you and her feel better.

Desensitize Yourself

Desensitizing spray or “delay spray” is another one that you can consider. This is a spray that actually can reduce the nerves in your penis. With anywhere from 3-10 sprays, you can help to relax the nerves there. It isn’t like Novocain, where you’ll lose all of your sensation, you will still feel this. It can help to slow down the ejaculation process, allowing you to feel better, and stronger than you have before.

Some do relate it to the little stuff that dentists do put on your mouth before they throw the needle in, hitting you with local anesthetic. This will help to lessen sensations a little bit, and the sole purpose of this is to prevent premature ejaculation. If you use this right, you will be able to last longer and you can also adjust how much desensitization that you get, so that your partner doesn’t feel the same way.
Now, one of the best ones on the market is something called Promescent, and it is a great one to help you out. One thing that you should however keep in mind with this, is that if you already do suffer from ED and PE, it might make it a lot harder to last during sex, so keep that in mind.

The Rubber Matters

Now, condoms are another part of this that you should also look at. If you’re having performance troubles, you should consider a thicker rubber. Some of the really thick rubbers actually can desensitize your penis during sex. This can help to avoid ejaculation. If you already do use condoms and suffer from performance issues, you should consider using a thicker condom to help out with this.

The best ones out there for this are those from Trojan or Durex. If you’re looking for the right ones to use, definitely find the ones that say either “extended pleasure” or “performax.” Those terms are basically nicer names for a thicker condom, so that’s what you should consider when you’re trying to find the right condoms for yourself.

Consider Medication

You’ve probably heard about Xtra Power Capsules, or even other pills that can be used to help you last longer in bed. Xtra Power can help you keep an erection, but there are other pills that can help with this.

Position Matters

One thing that both you and your partner can try, are actually different sex positions. While many men just love to go into a woman and immediately jack-hammer into her, it’s actually beneficial to consider a position where you two are perpendicular to one another. Why might that be? Well, the perpendicular position will stimulate the clitoris of the woman, which in turn will allow her to achieve pleasure and perhaps an orgasm. It can make your penis almost like a sex toy for her, and this in turn will give her the pleurae that she wants, without making your ejaculate.
The best way to do this is to lay facing one another, creating an angle between the shaft and the vulva. You don’t even have to penetrate into her, but instead put the shaft around the length of her vulva, moving straight against the clitoris and then proceeding to move it back and forth. Now, this actually can then allow her to get to the edge, and this will also make it so much less sensitive for you. If you use the topside of your penis, it’s actually a whole lot less sensitive than where the underside area is.

Now, when she does get close, you can then switch up the positions. Make sure that she communicates this to you, and you’ll then start to penetrate into her. At that point, she will probably orgasm right before you, and you should be able to about a minute later.

There are other perpendicular positions for you to try, and if you do this, you’ll be able to stimulate and pleasure your partner, while still being able to achieve orgasm.
It’s also important to consider that if you do thrust in deep, it can make your orgasm far too quick. If you do feel like it’s going too fast, start to penetrate only the lower part of the vagina. Don’t go all the way into her, but instead, start to take shallower thrusts. This will also allow her to get stimulation and to stave off you orgasm. Sometimes even alternating this can make it a whole lot more fun for you as well.

The Squeeze

The squeeze is another proven method to help you keep your orgasm at bay. This is something that you should explore for yourself, and learn to master over time. To do this, you first need to learn about your own penis.
Now, there are three areas where if you squeeze and apply pressure, it can help a man keep an erection and sustain it the entire time. Now, what you want to do is to make a ring with the index finger and thumb, and put it around the base of the penis when it is erect, and it’s almost like a cock ring in a sense. This in turn can help keep the blood flow to the penis. From there, you should then put the pressure along the underside of the head. You should put pressure there since that is a hot spot and there are many nerves there. Finally, press against the perineum, which is the spot between the anus and the testicles. It feels a bit like the tip of the nose, and if you touch it with the finger, it can stop the flow of the ejaculation and it can help to quell the early ejaculation you might be having trouble with.
With this, you should do this about 10-20 seconds before ejaculation, and you might feel the rush of ejaculation without it happening. This can then build itself up, and you’ll begin to realize just how good that feels over time as well.

The best way to master this one, is to actually start to work on this yourself, and then start to do this with your partner. You’ll be able to master this easily if you take your time and learn your body.
And finally, with all of these do talk to your partner about this. It is embarrassing more than likely, but talking to your partner about the issues at hand, and actually discussing it with them will allow you two to work together to help find a solution. If your partner loves you, and they want to share the intimacy of sex with you, they will work with you through this, allowing you to have a better sex life, and you’ll be able to last much longer in bed as well.
Lasting long in bed is a confidence thing for many men, but this article highlighted a few key techniques that you can try. It can be hard out there, but if you do work through this, get to the root of the problem, and try to fix this, it can make a huge difference on the future of your own life, and the sex life that you share with your partner, and it can help you create a happier, more fulfilling sex life than you had in the past, and will make it better in the future.

About Dr. Saleem Zaidi

Dr Zaidi is an Ayurveda and Unani medicine expert. He is the medical director at Rajshahi Healthcare and chief online consultant at Ayurvedic Expert. He has been studying, writing and speaking out about the effects of herbal medicines on various diseases for over fifteen years.

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